Cupid: Jive!
by Atomdancerrr
Summary: While still confined to Sachs-Gordon Cupid makes a Believer out of an unlucky-in-love Professor of Ancient Languages. Claire is puzzled and amazed! How can "Cupid" know the contents of a letter written & burned by a Four Year Old, 40 years earlier!


Cupid: Jive!

January 29 2009.

Twenty-eight Days of confinement

Session Twelve

This is from the Psychiatric Sessions of Cupid and Psyche which will be an account of Cupid's entire stay at Sachs-Gordon. Every Session! Every day there!

Cupid was surprised when he entered the office and found Claire and himself were not alone! Another Man was in there with Claire! He quipped, "Why Claire you've been cheating on me! You've been seeing other patients! I'm shocked! Shocked is hardly the word! I'm mortified!"

He pretended to have been stabbed in the heart and gave the most hammed up "death scene" she and Professor Matthews had ever seen in their lives ending with him being sprawled out on the couch his tongue hanging out!

She grinned at their invader to their space, You see what I mean?"

The Man nodded, smiling himself.

Cupid was a little irritated at that for real. He stiffened and sat up. "I thought you couldn't' talk about me to Non-shrinks! Doctor-Patient privacy and all that!"

Claire grinned and then picked up her pen and got all serious, "Let me introduce the two of you properly, as I was going to do right away before your little performance (that I am quite sure was never in the Globe Theater despite your insistence you acted there) interrupted me from introducing! This is Dr Robert Matthews. He has duel majors, one in Psychiatry and is licensed and makes his living that way. But he also is a genius in the area of ancient languages. Dr Matthews this is...Cupid. She grinned. "Or that is who he insists he is! I say you call his bluff! Let's see if he really knows his ancient languages as well as he says he does!"

Cupid was delighted. "Oh Claire I love you! I absolutely love you! I was getting _so_ bored! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" He put his arms out and air hugged her which was much as she would let him do and then turned to his new mental stimulation for the day and started jabbering in ancient Egyptian.

Dr Matthews looked at him stunned and confused, "Ah, what was that?"

Cupid's face fell. "That was ancient Egyptian of course. Tutankhamen dynasty era. If you want other eras I can speak them too. But if you don't even know that one! And you call yourself an Expert an ancient languages? He turned to Dr McCrae and protested, "Claire! _He_ is the fake one!

Dr Matthews said, "Hey! Wait a second! I have never heard anyone speak Tutankhamen era Egyptian before. It is a dead language as in _dead_. No one speaks it. No one knows how it _sounds!_

Cupid said huffily, "Well obviously _I _do!

The man put his hand on the back of his neck and considered, "It sounded vaguely like modern Egyptian! I've brought books with pictures of the language, some from that era too. Can you READ it?"

Cupid said calmly, "Of course."

The man stared in amazement that he would even consider asking (_but after what he had just heard! _"Out loud?"

Cupid shrugged. "Naturally."

"Then translate it into modern English so I can check that you are actually reading it in ancient Egyptian?"

Cupid nodded, "Sure. No sweat."

Professor Matthews tried to keep his hands steady. He lifted a heavy book out of the suitcase full of very heavy books he had brought and placed it on Claire's desk. He opened it to a very much already opened many times page, "There. Read that!"

Cupid picked up the heavy book with ease and without any hesitation did so in its original language, and then without a beat read it again in English. Then he added, "By the way you do know this is not exactly Tutankhamen era ancient Egyptian? It's..."

Dr Robert Matthews had to sit down very suddenly. "Claire he can do it!"

She gave a very soft, "Oh my!"

Dr. Matthews said quickly. "Claire, it's worse! What I just handed him to read is a kind of Egyptian only about a dozen People in the modern world know how to read! It is very very rare, a separate dialect only the Slaves spoke and we didn't even know they had a written language of their own until very very recently!"

Cupid nodded, "Ironically it is an ancient variation of what we spoke about last session, the ancient Egyptian equivalent of Black Jive, a deliberately made up different language from its original language made to establish a different identity and culture from the original and for the exact same reasons. They felt they were being persecuted and wanted something of their own. So they made up their own language!"

Dr Matthews added, "And a written form of it that your patient can READ, Clare!

"And speak." Cupid reminded him, smiling. "It is sure fortunate I was able to learn it and not be in the same position I am today with Black Jive!"

The Professor stared at him. His jaw dropped. "What?"

Cupid said unhappily, "I don't know how to speak Black Jive! I want to learn! I wanted to! I really did! But my Friend who knew it was too much of a fuddy-duddy to teach me!"

Robert Matthews said gently, "Oh Cupid! Was that it? I can help you there!"

Claire's jaw dropped more than it had when her patient had proved he could read (and speak) ancient Egyptian. She tried to steer the conversation back to what it had been but it was hopeless!

For the rest of the session she got to learn some Black Jive too. It was impossible not to. _Well no doubt at least one time in her career it was bound to come in handy!_

Cupid learned very very fast!

The man beamed at his new pupil, "No wonder you were able to pick up Slave Jive so quickly! Who again did you say you learned it from?"

Tall, extremely skinny fellow everyone called Thoth, said Cupid happily "Nice fellow. His name meant 'Ibis' and he was as skinny as one. Not because his family didn't feed him either! I watched in omnipresent mode just to make sure because I was very worried about him there for a while. But his Mom was a great cook! He was just one of those who could eat and eat and still stay skinny! I'm a little bit like that right now. Anyway I bought him a jar of honey mead and a big basket of flat cakes to see if that would fatten him up any. It didn't! He ate it right in front of me and wasn't one fraction of a kite fatter. I could tell down to a fraction of a kite what he weighed because of what I was. So amazed at that I bought him some more and darn! That didn't put one more fraction of a kite on him either! I mean he ate it right in front of me! He didn't go to the bathroom during that time. So where did the weight of the food itself go? The food itself in his stomach had to weigh something, right? But he didn't gain even one tenth of a kite! So where did it go! But at least he enjoyed it! After that scrumptious repast he was at last full and I gave up trying to fatten him up and chalked up this mystery up to there being things in the Universe even we gods don't understand! And he did teach me to read and speak Slave Jive just as you are teaching me Black Jive now except I don't even have to buy you even one beer!"

The Professor said quickly. "I'd like to buy you one!'

Cupid said happily "Well then when they let me out let's go across the street to Tres Equis and we shall have one together!"

Then it was off into their wonder world of Black Jive again, leaving Claire unable to fathom anything! Either what they were saying or why they wanted to say it the way they were saying it! _He claims to know every ancient language. Dr Matthews knows at least a dozen ancient languages. I brought him here to disprove Cupid is Cupid and __**this **__is happening!_

Finally time wise their peculiar little session was over and Cupid was cheerfully escorted back to the B wing, Professor Matthews said to her happily as he trotted out the door and just as calmly as if he were announcing the weather, "He's legit, Claire. He's Cupid!"

_What! _Icily Claire stated, "Thank you ever so much for helping me pop my very sick patient's delusions! You didn't though, did you? You told him amongst that torrent of Black Jive you were flooding this office with that you believed him and that is why he suddenly looked so extremely happy and started boogieing with you! That was exactly what I brought you here to do! Of course! You have helped _so_ much! And by the way how do you, a Man of Science living in the twenty-first century, come to that conclusion that my mental patient really is Cupid?"

The Professor came in the door again and lay down on her couch like he was a Patient! "Oh Claire! This is so sad and yet so funny! When I was four years old I was in love with the pretty little Girl up the street from us. I was a Genius back then too. I could already read and write and already in more than one language. I had a hard time understanding this came hard to other People. If I could hear the Black Kids in the Hood speak Black Jive a few times and pick it up how come the nice proper Jewish Lady up the street didn't also know such a fun way of talking? And why didn't my Black Companions know Mandarin Chinese as my Father had taught me? Why weren't they at least interested in learning it from me since I was certainly willing to teach them! And I had some very confused ideas about the supernatural seeing as my Parents never took me to church or let me watch religious shows on TV or _anything!_ That is a dangerous way to raise a Child because I had to do what many do. I had to make up my own theology piecing it together out of what I was getting from fictional shows on television and from the movies. Plus banning religious information only made it forbidden fruit! Wanting to read the Bible is why much later I learned ancient Greek as a 12 year old. I did that so I could read the only religious book my parents had. It was in that language! I still felt I had to sneak it into my bedroom to do so but the one time they caught me with it they just thought I had it to learn ancient Greek and thought nothing of it. That was why my Father had a Greek edition of the Bible in the house. But they didn't realize it was the other way around. I'd learned Ancient Greek solely so I could read the one book I could manage to get hold of that my Parents didn't ban away from me that had the answers I so desperately craved! So never deprive a Child of any area of knowledge, Claire. You know as well as I do, you being a Shrink that forbidden fruit then becomes the one area they will really want to know _all_ about!

She grimaced, "I know! People neurotic in Freud's time because they were terrified to even think about sex have a modern equivalent. I get Patients who are so messed up theology-wise it has made them terribly sick! Well I would say the one I've got here who thinks he's Cupid was one like that, wouldn't you? And you didn't help!"

The Professor just smiled a sad little smile, " By the way Cupid is fluent in ancient Greek. Some of what we were talking in there was not Black Jive. We were part of the time speaking Ancient Greek with a Black Jive cadence for the fun of it! Sorry if we confused you but it was fun! There are few that can keep up with me! He can! But anyway, back then as a lovelorn four year old all I knew about how to communicate with the supernatural to help me win this fellow four year old girl to be my love forever and ever was what I had seen the Kids on Mary Poppins do, write a letter and burn it. So I wrote a letter to Cupid. I did know that much. Cupid was the god of love! I had seen him on Valentine's day cards! And then burn it. Burning it would get it up to Heaven! That was all I knew how to pray! Because that is how the Kids on Mary Poppins got their letter up to her! Well Claire! Guess what! That works! That is how you can send a letter to a little g god! But my fervent prayer was not answered. Lilith would not even look at me! She spurned me utterly and laughed in my face right in front of everyone when I told her what I'd done to win her! I was one heartbroken little four year old Genius! I decided the little g gods were idiots to ignore such a letter! STUPID! STUPID CUPID!"

The Professor said a lot more quietly, " I realize now there was some truth to that but it wasn't his fault!

Claire felt a chill go up her spine. _This could not be going where it looked like it was going!_

He continued "Because my poignant plea was never answered I just quit believing and time passed of course and I became an Adult and figured, 'how silly! Of _course_ there is no Cupid and that is why my letter never got answered.' But that wasn't it at all! I didn't realize that little g gods can have limitations. I should have prayed to the Big God we ourselves evolve into who knows _everything_ not to a little g deity we as Cupid has informed me, just manufacture sometime in the Future using Science to fulfill faith just for the fun of it. They were originally a kind of video game! But I didn't know too! My Parents were such idiots keeping me in ignorance in that area!"

The Professor continued in a very excited voice. "Manufactured or not he _is_ Cupid, Claire! Today I taught Cupid all the variations of Black Jive I know and I know half a dozen! When I did that, very suddenly he was able to quote me back word for word the contents of my letter! And he apologized! So he got it Claire! He got the letter I burned to send to the god of love! So he has to be legit! It's just like the sanity trial in Miracle on 34th street! If they deliver a letter you write to Santa Claus to Kris Kringle than Kris Kringle must really be the real Santa Claus! Even in the Future, even in other realms I would think the Postal system or whatever it evolves into in a few billion years or does the job of the Postal System in the Supernatural Realms would take great pride in making sure mail does not get misdelivered! And he knew my letter word for word! Oh but here is the sad part! Because, Oh Claire! Cupid he couldn't understand what I had written him and begged him to do for me up until just now!"

He started laughing. But then his tears of laughter started to become those of sorrow and Claire realized she was going to have to cancel her hair appointment! "Because my Sweetie was from Harlem, I'd written it in Black Jive!"

Claire spent the next hour comforting him and trying to keep her own firm, scientifically well thought out mental universe from whirling away into a spiral of Cupid-craziness! Comforting the Professor wasn't so hard. He'd found other loves in time. Of course he had! She pointed out, hardly had to, that "Someone who would make fun of his feelings in front of others was hardly a prize!

He agreed. "It had been the desires of a four year old Aspergerian who was as mentally disabled socially as I am brilliant in the area of linguistics. Yes I lived! I got over her. I am not married. I have no one. I sure could use Cupid out of here and helping me! I think he'll figure out a way to escape from your little happy house in time! But I have gotten used to it. I have Net Friends, clubs I belong to, all the usual ways Aspergerians cope. I feel myself a success in that area as much as one of my kind can be a social success. And finding out the little g gods are real certainly is not a bad thing, now is it? It means Life figured out a way to survive the implosion of the Universe and then lives to see it expand again!"

So he left her office a Happy Camper. He trotted out the door leaving her way too late to make her hair appointment and her own grasp of the Universe in shreds!

She sat at her chair and stared at the couch where her patient so happily came in and lay session after session, proclaiming himself forever the god of love! Harmless, gentle, happy, and probably hopeless too! _Now for sure! But oh how did he know what the Professor's letter had said "word for word?"_

"He's a sneaky conversationalist. Could the Professor just have let it slip and not realized it?

_Telepathy? Occam's razor: Faced with very strange goings on, always pick the one that requires the least tweaking of reality. You hear hoof beats, it is most likely Horses not Zebras thundering your way! But in this day and age it could also be somebody's recording of hoof beats! Telepathy is wild enough but better than accepting that Olympus is really up there and all the other "god-keeps" Cupid insisted are real! But I know "Cupid" would add to my analogy 'But Claire, Zebras do get loose from Zoos and People's private collection all the time and that analogy would not hold up in Africa. There Zebras would be more likely! So what if your patient is from Africa so when he reported hearing Zebra hoof beats to you during a session you have trouble believing him. But from where he was from there really are more Zebras than you can fathom because of your ticky-tacky little grasp of things?'"_

_So is Cupid really from a land of Zebras and not Horses, or to take this Equine analogy further, from a land of Pegasi and Centaurs?_

"_Telepathy fits Occam's razor better. But If he read the Professor's mind and saw the letter in his head, that is still a bad enough a shaking of my nice, tidy, universal view! Even telepathy has never been really proven. There were only hints it exists, and then only on a subconscious level. To have an example of it at this level is astounding! That my patient could have picked an entire letter out of the Man's head in a language he had just learned!_

"_Or... maybe the Professor only thought Cupid knew his letter word for word! After all he had been only four! He'd burned it! How could he even really remember what it said? Cupid is colorful! They had a torrent of words going on in here! He __can paint word pictures that make the entire town of Olympus come alive for me! The entire magical realm he is sure he comes from!"_

Claire started laughing. "That's it of course! The poor Professor probably mentioned the letter and Cupid took it from there! Cupid bamboozled him!And I've been sitting here by myself now, _talking to myself!_ For over an hour now he's had me bamboozled too! Supernatural Post offices delivering burned letters!" She laughed and she laughed and she laughed! "Or even telepathy! Oh, I am _not_ telling the Professor! Let him live with the comfort my Cupid gave him. There was still a hurt little Boy inside of him and my patient healed that little Boy! As usual he is able to help everyone but himself! One Person _was _healed today in my therapy office at least!

"It just wasn't my patient!"

_Copyright (Copy begging in fact for ALL my fanfiction!) I saw what happened when the free __Geocities web pages died. It was like Atlantis sinking into the sea so much culture was lost forever without warning! God had gently but firmly warned me to save the Cupid stories at one of those web pages so now I may be the sole Caretaker of several Cupid stories because the Writers seem to be DDD Authors. (Disinterested in their own stuff now, Disabled by their flesh's limitations or lack of computer equipment or Uploaded to New Jerusalem already). Because my attempts to contact them to see if I they wanted their wonderful Cupid stories posted here as Guest postings or to see if they wanted to set up their own accounts were futile! I don't want my stuff lost to this Realm the same way if something happens to me and the current sites my stuff is posted at go down! Plus I will not live forever in the flesh and new sites will continue to be developed! So to preserve my stuff __forever I give permission to anyone to upload any of my fanfictions to any fanfiction sites provided they do not change anything and leave my name attached. In fact I am begging Folks to! If in the Future someone wishes to translate my stuff into different forms of media including kinds not even __conceived of at the time of this writing any changes necessary for that purpose may be made with my blessings provided the integrity of the stories, ideas and Characters are kept intact. Follow the Golden Rule please! "Treat others as you want to be treated." Remember in the Future Artificial Intelligence Technology will bring Fictionals to Self Awareness and we will use Science to build Heaven. (We are the Body of Christ according to 1 Corinthians 12:27 and all Carpenters use their Bodies to build things). Because Time circles due to General Relativity and Ecclesiastes 1:9 this has already happened so we are all being watched, always! A song sung at the Fort McCoy Pow Wow in Florida explains this very well; "Mickey Mouse and Goofy are Spirits too." So we will all be called to account (at least socially) for our actions, even for how we treat Fictionals! For instance a Villain __does not mind being written to provide challenges to the Protagonists and killed off because that is his purpose. But he would certainly mind being written contrary to how he was supposed to be written!_


End file.
